Where Water Flickers Like Flame – Chapter I: The Dance of Night and Day by Duncan Mattingly

Word Count: 6731 words | Critique type preference: In Person

Content warnings:

Death/Dying, Mental Disorders

Author Notes:

This is the first chapter of my in-progress science fiction novel, and I would love to hear any and all critique on whether or not it manages to do its job of pulling the reader into the story. Does the world feel real and immersive? Do you feel particularly strongly towards any of the characters? Would you continue reading into the second chapter? I’m also aware that it’s quite long and would appreciate any advice or opinions on parts that feel extraneous.

Notes to organisers:

There is a chance that I will only be in London until the end of September. I will make sure to attend the July critique session so that I hit the requisite two sessions before my own critique, but I understand if there’s not enough time to share my story. If that’s the case, I’d be happy to switch to an online session.

Submitted: 1 July 2025

Last updated: 10 June 2026 at 23:43

Author Email: du*****************@****ac.uk