The Servant by Roger Canals

Word Count: 5000 words | Critique type preference: In Person

Content warnings:

Abuse, Blood, Child sexual abuse, Classism, Disregard for personal autonomy (kidnapping / enslavement / abduction), Rape / Sexual Assault (or attempted), Sexism / Misogyny, Violence (gratuitous / extreme)

Author Notes:

This is the first chapter of the dark fantasy book I’m in the process of re-drafting. Being the first chapter I’m conscious of the fact that it needs to hook the reader, so I’d like to know if I’m managing to do so.

• Is the story interesting? Does it pace well?
• Is the theme a little too dark?
• Are the characters believable, and do their dialogues along with their accents and dialects work?
• Is the main character likeable?
• Does it leave you wanting to read more?

Ultimately I’d like to know what works and what doesn’t.

Thanks!

Submitted: 4 January 2026

Last updated: 11 June 2026 at 16:35

Author Email: rc************@***il.com