Sunset by Eleanor O’Keeffe
Word Count: 5628 words
Critique Date: 29 September 2026, In Person
Author Email: el************@**.com
Content warnings:
Blood, Child death, Combat, Death/Dying
Author Notes:
This is my first completed piece of fiction – I just wanted to finish a draft something (for once) and I did. Go me.
It’s also the first time I’ve shared fiction for critique.
All this isn’t just to plead for sympathy (‘just’ – I mean, it is, for sure): please bear in mind that I have no idea what to expect from people’s responses and no framework for interpreting them, so being specific will help me. I may not know what a ‘normal working draft’ writing issue might look like vs something more substantial or particular about my writing.
I’d welcome any reactions you have, but these are things that I’ve been mulling over:
- The narrative voice. Too strong, intrusive, too much?
- The story’s themes (long standing interests for me) – does the context of British war remembrance translate to others from international contexts? For British residents, is this too much/laden?
- I’d be interested in hearing what resonated, what felt unclear, and what questions or tensions the story raised for you and whether they worked against your expectations or was it just all super predictable?
- Whether the central characters and relationships feel at all believable/emotionally convincing, and whether the protagonist’s predicament remains human and grounded despite the story’s somewhat speculative/magical elements. Have I got a balance here at all??
- The story includes some sensitive material, and it has its own political perspective I guess, but I’m not looking for readers to see whether to “agree” or not, so much as to understand how those elements are working within the story.
- And yes I probably do have a comma and an em dash problem – probably a grammar problem actually. Big apologies.
and any tips for making it better! 🙂
Notes to organisers:
I am autistic. Usually fine wth everything online on voice discord, not sure why I mention it, but just thought it might be helpful in explaining why I ask a lot of clarification questions.
Submitted: 5 June 2026
Last updated: 16 October 2026 at 12:08 by Jane Morecroft